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Funny Boxing Quotes

Here is a constantly growing collection of some of our (the staff of Ask the Boxer) favorite funny/amusing boxing quotes.  You think Tyson had some hysterical quotes?  Check out some of the hilarity below.

"To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other."
- Jack Handy

“Smokin’” Joe Frazier, talking to Ken Norton at a social gathering.
Frazier: "Hey man, what you been doing?"
Norton: "My wife just had a baby."
Frazier: "Congratulations! Whose baby is it?"

"The referee is the most important man in the ring besides the two fighters."
- “Big” George Foreman

“Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious.”
- Alan Minter

“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. “
- Emo Philips

“The dumbest question I was ever asked by a sportswriter was whether I hit harder with red or white gloves. As a matter of fact, I hit harder with red.”
- Frank Crawford

“I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.” 
- Muhammad Ali

“If you even dream of beating me you'd better wake up and apologize.”
- Muhammad Ali

"My style is impectuous, my defense is impregnagble, and I'm just ferocious, I want your heart, I want to eat his children."
- “Iron” Mike Tyson

"I sacrifice so much of my life, can I at least get laid?"
- “Iron” Mike Tyson

"You can't last two minutes in my world. Look at you now, scared like a little white pu**y, scared of the real man, I'll f*ck you 'til you love me, fa**ot!" 
- “Iron” Mike Tyson

"Lie down so I can recognise you." 
- Willie Pep, the American featherweight boxer, after being asked by an old opponent if Pep remembered him.

"Boxing is the only sport you can get your brain shook, your money took and your name in the undertaker book." 
- “Smokin” Joe Frazier

"Answering the fight doctor during his title bout against Jose Torres when asked, Do you know where you are?
You're damn right I know where I am! I'm in Madison Square Garden getting the sh*t kicked out of me.”
- Willie Pastrano

“I've seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won.”
- Muhammad Ali

"I fought Sugar [Ray Robinson] so many times that I'm lucky I didn't get diabetes" 
- Jake LaMotta

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